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Take Life One Day at a time. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Major Yawn.... [Sep. 3rd, 2007|12:46 am]
It says,

"My current employment situation encompasses the deployment of a duly licensed motorized vehicular conveyance in furtherance of conducting various personnel via local service routes from their place of location to their intended destinations."

- "This atrocious sentances means: 'I drive a taxi.'"

In short, I hate writing resumes, let alone federal resumes.

You know, I can start a business by paying 75 bucks for a business license, rarely will anyone ask me for my credentials, capability statement, or resume. The simple fact is, running my own business is easier then writing a resume, putting on a tie, jumping through some HR ladies hoops, and begging for a job. The worst thing about being self employed is you may never be able to work for someone other then yourself ever again. In todays age, who won't screw over your pension, downsize you, or worse?

back to writing....
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strange feeling: [Jun. 26th, 2007|06:26 pm]
[Current Mood |Very Sad.]

I went and wrote a journal entry but I didnt want people all up in my business. (in other words I wanted to keep things to myself.....)

I've been doing this lately because a) I didn't want anyone to have info about me they didnt need. b) If things fell through no one would wonder what happened.

Three days ago I packed a box to move back to Seattle. Yesterday I contacted uhaul but they didnt have any equipment for rent on the day I wanted it. Worse, the guy I talked to was exceptionally rude and unhelpful.

Today, I unpacked the box. I am setting aside equipment I'd like for when I goto Mississippi in July.

I'm likely going to Mississippi in July for another 4 month stint with an army engineering unit, comprised, mostly of corp of engineer civilians.

I'm still hoping to find someone to take my place though. I put together a little job ad for former classmates and hope to send it off to them soon.

My mother lost both her parents back in March/April - they within the same week - each on a Sunday. So I'm hoping I'll find someone qualified to goto Mississippi in my place...

If not, its looking like I'll be home from November 15th to January 10th. So good times will be had before I spend 4 months in Texas :-) Texas will be the 10th state I lived in - in the last 4 years.

WA, WY, MN, ND, NH, TN, AR, LA, MS....ugh. TX...

Thankfully TX will only be a short 4 to 5 month stint....

maybe I can find someone to go in my place for texas too....
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(no subject) [Apr. 26th, 2007|06:22 pm]
A typical spring going on........

It was sunny and 70 all day, and presently, the afternoon rain has started. Being back east started out more rough then I thought it would be. I promptly went to the grocery store, where I found a gift card that my deceased family members had given me on Christmas, and my birthday. Which made me sad. Then I started up my laptop, which I had not done in about 3 weeks. The desktop photo again, of my deceased family members. The grief is not so bad, as say four weeks ago, when I could start crying while doing dishes. But still, most of everything I have around me is a reminder of my lost family. It has been 20 years since I lost a close family member - which was my father. I think I even upset some family by being too strong. My ability to go on auto-pilot, or worse just shut down entirely as coping mechanism seems to be intact.

Hauling dead bodies from the nursing home to the funeral home for the local ambulance company does not help. Of course, big money in hauling dead bodies. 40$/body plus 3 dollars a mile I’ve heard. The worst part being that with a crew of 3 people, I always ride in the back, a mere few inches from the body, and as all chairs face the cot in the ambulance, I get to watch it flop around like dead weight. On top of being up close and personal with the deceased, the smell never really goes away on that particular shift, no matter how much cleaner or bleach you use. This, seals my complete disgust for all privately held/operated ambulance companies.

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On TV Tonight: [Apr. 15th, 2007|10:33 pm]
Dana Carvey (sp) the comedian said something funny:

*Al Gore Impression* "You can't deny that this planet is a heating up now! The only way we can save the planet from global warming is to elect Hilary Clinton as the president, because she's such a cold hearted bitch!"

What seals the deal on that one is the outrageous southern politican voice.

In other news I'm in Seattle, HOW the fuck did I ever leave... so pretty in spring.
My mothers new farm is pretty. The saddest thing ever is trying to plan and conduct a funeral...but anyhow. The funeral was saturday and I go home on wednesday.
thanks to everyone for being nice to me.
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bittersweet... [Apr. 1st, 2007|02:59 pm]
at 1010pst, my grandmother passed away...comfortable and flanked by all my family, with a son and daughter holding each hand and crying.  At least they dont suffer anymore.
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then there was 2...*sigh* [Mar. 31st, 2007|04:38 am]
My grandmother, who was moved to the hospital the day my grandfather was found deceased, is going into hospice care. I had spent the day working and when I got outside to walk home I checked my voicemail. So I returned my mothers call immediately. She told me in her most brave voice that last night my grandmother got very sick. When I asked about if the doctor had guessed how long my grandmother had, she said - that the hospice had a requirement of people living no longer then 7 days.

on monday I have this huge appointment to see my school teacher to arrange my graduation......... he dosent even care about my situation, he quits his job on wednesday. He seems to be a very bitter man.
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And then there was 3.... an unexpect loss... [Mar. 27th, 2007|06:15 am]
My mother called me last night, and they had found my grandfather. He died while getting ready for bed she said. He did not go to the nursing home to visit my grandmother yesterday, and did not answer the phone. My grandmother was transferred from the nursing home to the emergency room. They are waiting for the pain medication to wear off, to tell my grandmother.
I had called my mother in the afternoon and asked her to check on my grandparents. The last time I suffered a loss in my family was 20 years ago, when my father died. My grandfather was my best friend, my benefactor and the greatest man I ever knew. While the void is great, and he equipped me to survive in this world without him, I wish I could have had him around longer.

Now, more then ever... 1500 miles from home and my family, I regret ever leaving.
I would have liked to have said goodbye properly...
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More sad Drama: [Mar. 12th, 2007|07:18 pm]
I called my mom the other day asking how she was. It was afternoon there. She said she was ok, cooking dinner for friends. She also said she couldn't see out of one of her eyes. She wondered if this could be a blood pressure thing. Like her optic nerve being compressed and making things blurry. I told her to take some bendryl or lay down and see if it helps, and to call someone to look in her eyes. Her friend came over and said he saw a visible line in her eye. She told me that she was wearing an eye patch. I told her to wear two, that vision was binocular. With this line thing she told me that she had lense implants from cataract corrections. I told her it could be bad, she should call the doctor who put them in, and ask what type of situation she might be in. She promised to goto the doctor. Well she hasn't called me back. I called my grandfather to ask him how he was, and he tells me my grandmother is bad, I hadn't even asked about her, but due to a bad cellphone connection he tells me details, then he tells me my mom has problems....Her eye doc said she'll get her eye cut open on thursday. Apparently this is a complicated thing and she might be blind. The lens is in the back and behind the eye nearly now. On top of this, my grandfather isnt bullshitting me and says my grandmother is really really sick. Like circling the drain sick, and dying. She was moved to the ICU again and is in her 3rd coma-like state. she is in massive CHF. I suspected people were lying to me about my grandmothers condition just partially, trying to ease the worry I might have, so I wouldn't be distracted by her illness and would focus on school.

So now more drama on drama.
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long overdue... [Mar. 9th, 2007|12:25 am]
Well my last class was a few days ago.
I went awol from the final, but it can be made up.
My apartment has some sort of toxic mold, and I am moving out of it slowly. I'm slow moving because of the below freezing weather. But it has warmed up and they will probably tear out my ceilings and carpets in record time. I am still sick from the mold, who knows if I'll get better. I feel better when I am away for more then 24 hours but when I return I am even more allergic it seems.

My newer apartment has a bathroom that is tiny but a modern kitchen, which is nice.

But there is no room for my queen size bed really, and I'm not about to lug the dang thing around the block, down 3 floors and up 2 more....

The real news is my grandmother has now been in the ICU 3 times over the last 2 weeks. She was in a nursing home undergoing some physical therapy to regain her strength after her other two bouts of being sick. They sent her to the ER with a possible stroke, gave her a CT scan that proved negative, and decided that it may take 3 days for signs of the stroke to show itself. So she'll get a few more CT's to see where she is. Apparently she is stable and well sedated, but she goes from being cognative to not. My mom, and family are being troopers, although my grandparents really need more close care from the family as a whole...

I inquired about transfering back to seattle, the answer was no. Then the answer was no again... then I got this email, "Is dean so and so your dean? We go back 20 years... we could make this happen...." So I guess technically, I could transfer but I am against it.

I've been day dreaming about my spring/summer 2007. I'm undecided but have a few leads. Myspace is amusing and assisting my with procrastination these last few days.
Part of me is looking forward to going home, but part of me is looking forward to going somewhere remote, and then going on a long ass vacation, for months.

Other good news, is I left working with the felons...No more pathetic part time jobs. Its just me and medicine now. While I could care less about the drama in my life right now. The spring sunshine is perking me up. I miss home and spring... Anyways
I love all you guys. You friends have kept me going these last hellish 15 months.

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some curse words in this one.... [Feb. 23rd, 2007|12:33 am]
is this funny?
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